A man who died and went to heaven to find two signs above two different lines. The first sign read:
“MEN WHO HAVE BEEN DOMINATED
BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE.”
That line of men seemed to stretch off through the clouds into infinity.
The second sign read:
“MEN WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN DOMINATED
BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE.”
Underneath the sign stood one man.
He went over to the man, grabbed his arm and said, “What’s the secret, how did you do it? That other line has millions of men and you are the only one standing in this line.”
The man looked around with a puzzled expression and said, “I am not sure I know. My wife just told me to stand here.”
###
It’s an old joke, of course. However, when we reflect on leadership and male/female roles there is a historical context that bears discussion. One one hand, the “Ozzie & Harriet” days have been replaced with “Everyone Loves Raymond.” When it comes to role models on TV, movies and print, the family man of strength, harmony and leadership has been supplanted with an emasculated, “Oprah-fied” shell of men…men who are stupid, dominated and/or weak.
It’s funny because it is out of character from a masculine standpoint.
Masculinity (in media) is generally portrayed through action heroes…men who shoot first and ask questions later. While this may make for entertaining escapism, it creates confusion in men about who they are. In young men, it creates confusion on whom they should become as leaders.
Does emulating James Bond require a man to be strong-yet cold? Certainly true strength can be a foundational characteristic in concert with having a heart. However, in many portrayals of strength, the loner or fallen hero is showcased, honored and emulated.
It’s is certainly important to continually improve your self worth. It is quite fulfilling to improve our habits, refine our positions and redeem ourselves from the mistakes of our past. We all have flaws and it is our ability to overcome those flaws which fuel our motivation to change and improve. Permanent self-development can create a great role model for our children, our co-workers and our community. When the fallen hero gets up, redeems himself and improves his life, family and community, it’s a good thing. (See the movie “Chef” immediately)
How does all of this relate to the male role of leadership in our family?
Does the old saying, “A happy wife makes for a happy life” hold true? Of course. When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. No family enjoys it when anyone is upset. But is Mom’s happiness, at the expense of grounded male leadership, a good thing? Is putting ANY individual ahead of others a path to family harmony? (Selfish teenagers aside…that is an entirely different topic)
In many USA households, the emasculated father has permeated the culture for quite some time and the trend shows no signs of abating. I’m not speaking from a misogynistic angle, here. Feminism had its run and continues to have an important role. Like all movements, there were some unbalanced items (equal pay, respect, etc.) that needed to be repaired. The rise of the female, single family household has further compounded the topic. However, when the scales tip so terribly to either side, the negative cultural ramifications can spill over into other areas.
The continual emasculation of Western men is not good for our society, business or our families.
A happy wife is nice, but where is the saying, “A husband who leads is the foundation for a happy family?” Ok…it not only doesn’t rhyme, but it also is not being reinforced in our Western culture. Where is Ozzie? (the 50’s TV icon, not the other guy…)
The continued dilution of masculine leadership is not only destroying our families, but our nation as a whole. I’d enjoy hearing your comments below:
If you are a man, who is your role model for leadership…and why?
If you are a woman, is there a male role model you respect?
Your answers will not only help create a better path for our youth to follow and emulate, but it may end up in my upcoming book, Family Leadership. Please comment or send me a message to be considered for an interview.
The definition of arrogance is when you tell me how great you are. This rarely works and is nearly always irritating to the listener. If you want to attract the most ideal prospects to you, it’s always better if someone else tells the world how great you really are.
Are you listening, Donald Trump?
The difference between confidence and arrogance is determined by the messenger-not the message. We all want to attract new and better clients. Don’t we have to show them why our product/service is the best solution?
Nope…Don’t do it.
100% of the time, it is better when others talk about you. Here’s an easy example; Suppose you are a realtor…a good one. A person tells you they are looking to sell their house. You sniff an opportunity and like a shark with blood in the water, you tell them,
“I’m one of the top realtors in the area. Just last year, I sold Sue’s house for 98% of her asking price in under 2 weeks and gave her a checklist for moving to a new city. She was very happy and I could do the same for you.”
BAM! You’re selling Amway.
On the other hand, what if a neighbor (We’ll still call her Sue) said,
“You know, Jane, Bob Wilson sold my house last year in under 2 weeks for 98% of the asking price. He not only took care of the closing details, but helped us with the logistics of moving to another city….that was a huge stress reliever…you should call him.”
The message is nearly identical, but when the message comes as a referral, your reputation is not only intact, but solidified and quite possibly sold by the endorser.
It’s a double win.
As entrepreneurs, how do you get others to “evangelize” our message? Is a simple endorsement, case study or testimonial enough? Is the pursuit of social proof the foundation of transforming that skeptic to a believer?
Look at a typical sales page and you’ll see words and pictures that are meant to convince you the seller has the greatest thing since sliced bread. Perhaps 1 out of 100 visitors might click or enter the sales funnel to learn more.
What happens to the other 99?
Why did they click away?
Is it really JUST a numbers game?
Yes…and no.
Most clicked away because they were being bombarded…not conversed with. You see, while the foundation of all sales is a numbers game (you’ll always talk to more people than actually buy from you), it depends upon how people heard of you in the first place. If they already heard about you and were possibly interested in your solution, you have a chance. If they came upon your sales page without knowing a thing about you, you have a longer road ahead.
If you are marketing your offer or message to people who don’t know you at all you will come across like that awkward guest at a dinner party… The “Hi, nice to meet you, let me show you something” approach is massively awkward, salesy and rarely works.
Why then, do we feel it is OK to speak like this online?
Does the removal of face-to-face conversation give us permission to spam people?
Don’t forget there was life before the internet.
Once upon a time, we actually spoke with each other. Go back to the roots of human communication and realize that offline social conventions should be the basis for your online marketing. Design and execute your marketing strategies with a conversational foundation and you’ll find seamless interactions and a higher conversion rate when you get around to making an offer. (Assuming you should make one at all…more about that in a moment)
For the past few years, marketers have heard the phrase “Content Marketing” or “Content is King” as the next generation of how to attract, influence and persuade someone to buy from you. While this is a breath of fresh air from the alternative “Have I got a deal for you” mentality, there is still a problem.
A massively big…huge problem.
With over 4,600,000,000 web pages out there, I guarantee your page is not only rarely found by your target audience, but there is a good chance your landing pages (if you have any) are not even indexed and optimized to influence your market.
If they are, it still doesn’t matter because, like that awkward insurance salesman at a cocktail party, your page is a monologue…not a dialogue.
When you talk about yourself, people naturally tune out.
When you talk about them, they are naturally interested.
…after all,
However, the medium of the internet is not very conversational. By its very nature, it is littered with monologues. Even this article is a monologue subject to your opinion, review or dismissal. (Please…leave a comment below and I’ll give you a cookie!)
In order to break the barriers of skepticism by your target audience, go back to the cocktail party and review the most interesting person in the room and apply a professional, conversationalist strategy to your marketing. There are 3 fundamentals of doing this online:
Ask questions. Get other people talking about themselves. Personally, I’m rolling out more survey’s, polls and phone calls (remember those?) in order to have conversations with my ideal clients. The more information you get, the better you can design, execute and specifically solve the problems of your clients. More information is always better.
Ask for testimonials in advance. My good friend, Ed Strachar, let’s his clients know in advance he expects a testimonial from them. In fact, his two-tiered pricing reflects this obligation. In my case, I always showcase my testimonials in my marketing, so my clients benefit as much as I do.
Target key influencers. While the social proof of an ordinary client has that raw, unfiltered appeal, don’t forget people love heroes. Your audience follows, or may even revere people like Richard Branson, Tony Robbins or some other luminary. While these guys may not give you a video review, there are plenty of “B” players who will. In fact, with a healthy dose of several “B” list celebrities endorsing you, your market reach can exceed a single “A” lister.
Apply to get YOUR story featured in this upcoming Amazon Best Seller. Go to: http://bit.ly/1Tdr7k8
In this blog post series (1 of 3), I’ll give you a handful of tips on each of these three areas.
Ask Questions
I recently purchased Ryan Levesque’s book, Ask. I’m not even 1/2 way through it and I highly recommend it. He’s not only mastered the process of engagement, he takes the typical “I’ve done a focus group” thing and turn it on its head. Even those who realize they should be asking questions are asking the wrong questions. Get this book.
Conduct a Poll
Per Ryan’s recommendation (and others), doing simple, binary and engaging polls will give you more than you could possibly hope for by simply doing the content marketing thing. When you do a simple poll, you get micro-commitments. People click on something you asked. They do this to validate their significance and to resolve the curiosity of what others are thinking. By creating a micro action (they clicked) you are creating the holy grail of marketing…taking action.
Equally important, when you ask the right questions, you learn something (maybe your original idea stinks!). When you audience tells you what they want, you better listen, it’s information that focus group companies charge tens of thousands of dollars for.
Technology to Consider There are a handful of tools you can use to conduct your poll. I’ve used all of the ones mentioned below with a good degree of success…it all depends on budget, intent and what you are selling
Facebook. For conducting opinion polls on book covers, Facebook can be pretty good. Try and put the covers (2 or more choices) in front of a targeted audience that best represents your buyers. People are already on this platform, and little effort is required to illicit a response or opinion.
Survey Monkey. The free version is simple, easy to run and stays on their website (no programming). You can get solid, critical data from an audience, provided they click to your poll in the first place. Unlike Facebook, you’ll have to influence people to click away from what they are doing to go to your poll.
Mintsapp. I’ve just recently started using this software. It is elegantly simple and can be used as a stand alone survey, on Facebook or on your own website. The funnel aspect of directing the person to an offer or opt in after the poll is quite valuable.
In the next post, I’ll discuss details (and swipe files) on point #2…the best way to GET powerful testimonials, how to use them effectively and why volume trumps quality every single time….no, not that kind of Trump.
Sharing your stuff… the concept is nice. But how many times does your audience need to see your book promotion or the 15% off Christmas coupon before they buy or get irritated with you?
Isn’t it better when other people share your stuff? How do you not only get other people but the RIGHT people to share and post your content, offer or program?
Influencers.
This 3rd and final installment in the “3 Best Ways to Get People to Share Your Stuff” concludes with the most challenging, yet most effective way to get people to share your content. Before we share my super-dee-duper secret methods, and whiz-bang tactics, it is important to define who is an influencer. Please don’t use the term “Thought Leader” or you may see my publish the vomit emoticon…
influencer noun / ɪnfluənsər/ us. › MARKETING a person or group that has the ability to influence the behavior or opinions of others: The influencer is the individual whose effect on the purchase decision is in some way significant or authoritative.
Nowhere does this definition say the person has to have 100,000 Twitter followers or be a regular commentator for CNN. An influencer has followers… followers who take action.
A fake influencer may have 100,000 Twitter “followers” with only 17 who read the posts or maybe they are a Best Selling author without anyone sharing their content or purchasing other products.
A true influencer is able to get their followers to make a purchase decision based on trust.
Trust, therefore not only creates, but reinforces influence. The more a person is trusted, the more rapidly their community will take the desired action.
The strange thing about influence and the trust it creates is it can come from the media, a trusted friend or even a celebrity. When Katie Couric reports a story, we rarely go and check her sources. She’s “trusted” because she is on Television.
When a friend tells us to go see the new Star Wars movie, we’ll go see it without hesitation if we have similar tastes. If it’s a chick flick… not so much. However, if Rotten Tomato’s, a popular movie review site likes the chick flick, it either has great acting, brilliant humor or maybe a well-placed car chase.
Celebrity endorsements work because a person is “known”. When Brad Pitt endorses a woman’s perfume, I don’t think it is because he secretly wears nylons and lipstick. Rather, his image next to Chanel #5 signifies a woman who wears it may attract a man like Brad.
…or something like that.
“Buy this perfume. I’m handsome.”
The point is, as a celebrity, we instantly recognize and LIKE the person and therefore, the brand. You may not trust Brad with your retirement account (forget calling him Charles Schwab), but if you liked him as Achilles in the movie Troy, you may feel sexier wearing this perfume, even if you are not built like Angelina Jolie.
Like an ad, trust is often subliminal. Our defense mechanisms of “This is an Advertisement…LOOK AWAY!” may not kick in because the brain is interrupted with, “Geez… he is handsome. I know that face.”
Ok… so you don’t have an extra $3.2 million dollars to hire Brad to endorse your product, no problem. There is a better way:
Identify influencers. If you are in technology, look up high-ranking bloggers and reporters in the technology space. Find out who reports on tech at the Huffington Post or TechCrunch. If you are a New Age person, make a list of the “A” listers in your niche like Deepak Chopra or popular mentors in that area. Make a list of the top 100 people who write, comment, blog or otherwise are well known & respected.
Give first. You can’t expect an “A” lister to care about your stuff, let alone know you even exist without bringing something to the party. In order to connect with an influencer, you need to act like one first. Go to the top 20 on your list and subscribe to their email list. Repost their content on Facebook. Intelligently comment on their blog posts. Go to their Linkedin profile and write them a thorough endorsement. Don’t just ‘click’ a link. Write a story. Let them know you are a super fan.
Give it time. Now, before you rush to reciprocation, be patient. Just because you crafted a hypnotic comment on their blog does not qualify you to ask for anything in return. Comments are nice. Leads are special. If you can authentically give your influencer new business, you will stand out. Ask them how to do that. When I connect with people on Linkedin, I always lead with, “What connection, lead or resource will best help you this week?” I am offering my network to them without expecting anything in return. Gary Vaynerchuk expressed this well in his article in Inc. magazine.
No expectations. When you truly don’t expect anything in return, your gift will be authentic. It will actually create the right reciprocity to the right people at the right time (right?). I was involved in a networking club years ago where the banker of the group gave leads every week. He “Gave until it hurt” as the saying goes. He never expected anything back and it was for THAT reason, people actually looked for ways to reciprocate. As Steven Covey mentioned in 7 Habits for Highly Effective People, the emotional bank account must first have deposits, before withdraws can be had.
Filter & refine. After you invest most of your time in the process of giving, you’ll start to see some people give back. Don’t concern yourself with their sphere of influence. Small players who recognize your gift become big ones. Reciprocate. Even if they are small fish in a big pond, people like this are the right types…. the influence they have will be the exact type you want on your team. You will either cultivate or connect with powerful influencers who can explode your reach, your exposure and… your influence.
This 5-step process works for media, bloggers and even your Facebook friends. Don’t dismiss someone because they are a consumer (some folks with huge followings LIVE on social media). Many people without businesses have large followings and can be classified as strategic and very valuable influencers.
Likewise, do not fear reaching out to local, regional, and national media. You may not be on Katie Couric’s Facebook friend’s list, but your local or regional reporters and editors will respect your leads, resources, and expertise for an article they may be working on. A few good articles about you in the regional media may percolate up into the national spotlight. For tips on doing this, check out AuthorityFusion.
In order to influence the influencers, give without expecting anything in return.
Give selflessly. You’ll gain exposure, leads, and sales. From this concentrated effort, you’ll have something even more valuable and powerful.
People not only judge a book by its cover, but they BUY a book based on the cover.
Your book cover is one of the most important element of your book. It is imperative that you put extra thought and energy into its structure, design and meaning. Most authors must also recruit professionals to help in the design, wording, colors and psychological triggers so the cover can do it’s job.
Lesson (Cliché) #1: Don’t judge a book by its cover. (even though we do)
Lesson (Cliché) #2: You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Human nature is clear on this point: Impressions occur immediately based on visual input and decisions are made instantly based on very limited information. Just as Steve Jobs fretted over the interior layout of a computer board nobody would ever see, your attention to the visual detail of your cover and title is imperative.
Take a step back and think about the multiple tasks your cover must perform with the limited visual real estate you have to pull it off. In the case of most book covers, you can instantly recognize winners from losers.
What is function of a book cover?
(Not a reader of in-depth blog posts? Click on the blue button and watch my video analysis of million dollar book covers. Complete with examples and a really soothing voiceover.)
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Interruption
First and foremost, your cover must interrupt the person’s thoughts and grab their attention. Boring covers don’t create an emotional reaction. You have to interrupt a person’s “sleep walking” through the shelves of a bookstore; online or offline. You don’t have a minute or even a few seconds to grab their attention. In 99% of the cases, if the cover does not interrupt their millisecond scans, they will never get to your subtitle.
You have to be different…very different.
Attention
Interruption all by itself, however, is useless. There are constant, irrelevant and obnoxious marketing interruptions everywhere. Without instilling curiosity, emotion or benefits on the cover, we will discard those interruptions that don’t grab us right away.
The reason is simple; Even though we have evolved over millions of years, our original, primordial brain functions are our primary compass for decision making. Our primitive brain is called the limbic cortex or “reptilian” brain. After our brains are interrupted by your compelling visual cover and snappy book title, our limbic cortex or “reptilian” brain has one of two thoughts:
“Is the message going to help me or hurt me (waste time or money)?” or
“What does this mean (curiosity)?”
Is it safe?
We never use our neocortex or “mammalian” brain for first impressions. Based on our fight or flight response to danger (primitive brain) we apply the same decision making on marketing and advertising.
Our primitive brain drives and controls our desire to ‘be safe’ that includes protecting our money. While we look to protect ourselves from harm before we seek solutions. Before we decide to solve a problem, our brains must protect us from danger… our fight or flight response drives the decision making process with, “If I buy this book, will I be wasting $20… will I waste hours or days reading it?”
It is only AFTER we feel safe, and our limbic brain feels safe, will our neocortex kick in and logically solve our puzzle.
Therefore, your book cover and title are designed to either create or answer a question at the speed of light. If your cover and title don’t do one of these, it won’t work. Our primitive brain will dismiss your book as a waste of time or money. When you answer a question, you are offering a direct benefit to an assumed problem. When you ask a question, you create engagement.
This is where demographic targeting, benefit statements and other psychology must be put into play. Your cover art needs to work in conjunction with the title.
• If your message is too complicated, you will lose.
• If your message is too weak, you will lose.
• If your message creates a question, you have created an opportunity.
10 Steps to Book Cover Psychology
In publishing, any headline’s sole purpose is to get you to read the first paragraph of the article. If the headline (cover and title) don’t do their job, nothing else matters. The same holds true for books.
The next time you go to a book store, go to your favorite section, pick up the first interesting book you see and remember what you do next. Like most people, you probably go through these 10 steps:
1. Look at cover and instantly judge if it solves my problem or creates curiosity.
2. Turn over to read the back cover. This is your “paragraph” below the headline.
3. Table of contents. Does it give detail on a benefit to me?
4. Skim the interior. Are there bullet points that interest me or solve my problem?
5. Go back to the testimonials. Are my mentors or hero’s buying this book? (social proof)
6. Go to reviews on Amazon. Read the first one. If it’s intelligent, I may buy. If not, step 7.
7. Go to any 1 star reviews. “Am I really safe if I buy this book?”
8. Go to any 3 or 4 star reviews. “Are reasonable people still happy?”
9. Go back and re-read the TOC or introduction. Am I sold yet?
10. Buy or go back to watching cat videos.
Multiple Covers
As an author in the digital age, you will have no less than 2 covers, possibly 3. If you are dialed into social media, you’ll have 5-6 versions of your book in Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Instagram and Google + to reinforce the reach of your book. At a minimum, you’ll need:
Softcover
Kindle & iPad
Hardcover (with inner flaps)
Facebook, G+, Linkedin, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, etc.
There are specific do’s and don’ts with all three of these covers. There are nuances and important differences one must change on all three. The biggest mistake authors make is using their printed cover for their Kindle book.
A kindle book cover is a very small thumbnail in the KDP store. Your beautiful cover, graphics, subtitle and name are difficult to read on any small font.
Do not use the same cover for your physical book as your Kindle… EVER!
Unless your book is exceedingly simple in design, the nuances of your color, subtitle and design rarely translate from a 6×9 inch book to a 60×90 pixel thumbnail.
Since we do judge a book by its cover and you have a tremendous opportunity to not only sell a book, but build your brand and influence hundreds of thousands of people, be sure to give as much attention and testing to your cover as you do crafting the words in your book.
If you don’t invest serious design, testing and psychology into the performance of your book cover, your magical words and snippets of wisdom will be lost… trapped in the clutches of a mediocre cover.
I’ve created a more detailed, visual analysis of the psychology of book covers. This short video includes visual examples, strategy and a video overview of incredible book designs that have created millions in revenue for authors and publishers.
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A happy wife is nice, but where is the saying, “A husband who leads is the foundation for a happy family?” Ok…it not only doesn’t rhyme, but it also is not being reinforced in our Western culture. Where is Ozzie? (the 50’s TV icon, not the other guy…)
